Vandamonium’s Weblog
No matter where you go, there you are.Archive for October 20, 2007
Halloween Survival Guide
Found at here.
*When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it’s really dead.
*If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetary, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house, move away immediately.
*Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
*Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
A Cat’s Version of the Rules
The Cat’s Version of the Rules
BATHROOMS: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.
DOORS: Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get the door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an “outside” door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.
15 Things It Took Me Over 50 Years to Learn
15 Things It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn
By Awesomeology on Jul 2, 2007 in Awesome Links
By Dave Barry…
- Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
- If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
- There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
- People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
- You should not confuse your career with your life.
100 Bucks for Sex
Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office…
but she belonged to someone else…
One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, “I’ll
give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you…”
but the girl said, “NO.”
