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If you are here you might as well check it out!!!!!!

November 16, 2011 at 3:18 pm · Filed under abuse, analysis, blogging, life and times, marijuana, ponder, time waster, weird

Pick the month you were born
Jan – I ate
Feb – I banged
Mar – I ran naked with
April – I smoked with
May – I ran shirtless with
June – I beat
July – I cuddled with
Aug – I needed
Sept – I shot
Oct – I shanked
Nov – I stabbed
Dec – I slept with

Pick the day (number) you were born on
01 – my lover
02 – a dog
03 – homer
04 – A homo
05 – a condom
06 – A toothbrush
07 – a hippie
08 – a glass of milk
09 – a porn star
10 – Paris Hilton
11 – the trojan man
12 – a teletubby
13 – the kool-aid man
14 – some crack heads
15 – an easter egg
16 – a pot head
17 – a bum
18 – a stripper
19 – a horse
20 – a homeless guy
21 – a drink
22 – my best friend
23 – the cookie monster
24 – my boy friend
25 – a bowl of cereal
26 – a golf ball
27 – a bag of weed
28 – a french fry
29 – your mom
30 – your grandma
31 – a mop

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing
White – because hoes keep stealing my tacos
Black – because I’m sexy like that
Pink – Because I’m good in bed
Red – because I have AMAZING boobs
Brown- because I had to
Polka Dots – because I hate my life
Purple – because I’m gay
Gray – because I love marijuana
Other -because I have double D’ s
Green – because I love to snort cocaine.
Orange – because I smoked crack
Turquoise – because I have a noodle in my nose
Blue – because I’m a pimp
Shirtless – because I’ve got abs
Yellow – because I didn’t like the way he/she looked at me
Gold- because the people in my head were banging
Tan- because I’m a soldier boy/girl

Post Your results  in the comments.

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Where have I been?

July 14, 2011 at 5:27 am · Filed under answers, blogging, breaking news, D.O.G., history, life and times, ponder, port aransas, questions, share, vandamonium

I have been without a power cord for my computer for quite awhile now, but I got a new one.  I have also been feeling pretty bad lately, most of you don’t know but I have Hep C and Lupus.  The lupus was in remission for over a year and half but is now back and my body feels like crap.  I still make myself get up at one point in the day or another and take DeeOhGee for a walk, I’d like to say that it helps but I”m not sure, it”s getting harder and harder to get around.  I do have a doctor appt. on the 26th of this month with a new Infectious Disease doctor and there may be a new treatment they are gonna try on me.  Hope it works this time. Anyway……. I’m back with not much else to do but this.  Have a great weekend, hope it’s cool where ever you are.  It is miserable here.  Post at you later….

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Guitar Pick Punch – Cool Material

July 11, 2011 at 5:42 pm · Filed under Amazing, answers, Awesome, extreme, how to, lesson, life and times, music, ponder, products, questions, share, technology, Texas MUSIC, web

Guitar Pick Punch – Cool Material.  This thing is really cool, wish I had one!

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Transformer Owl – Animal Planet: Animal Oddities

July 11, 2011 at 5:32 pm · Filed under Amazing, animals, blogging, exhibitionism, extreme, ponder

Transformer Owl – Animal Planet: Animal Oddities.  This owl exhibits some fascinating behavior !  This is a MUST watch!

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TIME GETS BETTER WITH AGE…a very special thanks to Mary for this one… – StumbleUpon

May 13, 2011 at 2:49 pm · Filed under Amazing, analysis, answers, Awesome, cut and paste, definitions, extreme, family, how to, lesson, life and times, motivation, ponder, posters, quotes, share, words

TIME GETS BETTER WITH AGE…a very special thanks to Mary for this one… – StumbleUpon.

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WAKE UP AMERICA !!!! FYI

April 19, 2011 at 1:40 pm · Filed under abuse, ammendments, answers, Awesome, Bcc, believe it or not, breaking news, cut and paste, first, food, history, how to, lesson, lists, motivation, ponder, questions, quotes, sending email, stupidity, time waster, web

 

What the #@%& is wrong???


WAKE UP AMERICA !!!!

Tuesday’s Daily Bulletin paper, ran two articles on the front page side by side :

1- Calif ‘s 20 Billion Dollar Budget Deficit 

2- The Calif Supreme Court rulingthat ILLEGALS can attend college and get benefits. 

Why don’t they just deport them when they arrive to register?

3- Last year they ran an article on the yearly costs to Calif Taxpayers from Illegals using Hospital Emergency Rooms for their general health care - At just one hospital the cost to tax payers totaled over 25  million a year  
Someone please tell me what the HELL’s wrong with all the people that run this country!!!!!!
We’re “broke” & can’t help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless etc.,???????????
In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti , Chile , and Turkey . And now Pakistan…..home of bin Laden.  Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!
Our retired seniors living on a ‘fixed income’ receive no aid nor do they get any breaks while our government and religious organizations pour Hundreds of Billions of $$$$$$’s and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries!
They call Social Security and Medicare an entitlement even though most of us have been paying for it all our working lives and now when its time for us to collect, the government is running out of money. Why did the government borrow from it in the first place?  We have hundreds ofadoptable children who are shoved aside to make room for the adoption of foreign orphans. 
AMERICA: a country where we have homeless without shelter,  children going to bed hungry, elderly going without ‘needed’ meds, and mentally ill without treatment -etc,etc. 
YET…………………
They have a ‘Benefit’  for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations, ships and planes lining up with food, water, tents clothes, bedd ing, doctors and medical supplies.

Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave ‘US’ the same support they give to other countries. 
Sad isn’t it?
99% of people won’t have the guts to forward this. 
I’m one of the 1% — I Just Did

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Cowboy Rules

April 9, 2011 at 3:51 pm · Filed under breaking news, ponder, questions, quotes, time waster

Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Nebraska, Idaho, Oregon and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain’t crooked.
3. Let’s get this straight: it’s called a ‘gravel road.’ I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That’s why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It’s called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin’ in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It’s available at the corner bait shop.
9. The ‘Opener’ refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That’s applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there’s no ‘vegetarian special’ on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah … We don’t care what you folks in   Cincinnati  call that stuff you eat… IT AIN’T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring ‘Coke’ into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring ‘Mary Jane’ into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don’t hit the water hazards – it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain’t music, anyway. We don’t want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won’t get it, but we’re friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!
And there is more………….
The Cowboy Solution to save Gasoline.
OBAMA wants us to cut the amount of gasoline we use…..
The best way to stop using so much gasoline is to deport 15 million illegal immigrants!
That would be 15 million less people using our gas.
The price of gas would come down…..
Bring our troops home from   Afghanistan  to guard the borders….
When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the Border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to   Afghanistan ….
Tell him if he wants to come to   AMERICA  then he must serve a tour in OUR military….
Give him a soldier’s pay while he’s there and tax him on it……
After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country…..
He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal resident…..
This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in   Afghanistan  and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves.. …….
If they refuse to serve, ship them to   Afghanistan anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo.
Problem solved…..
If you think this is a good solution to both the problems, forward it to your friends………..

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A Platform I Would Support

October 9, 2008 at 12:43 am · Filed under answers, Awesome, bill of rights, ponder and tagged: , ,

I got this in an email from my mother a little earlier this evening and thought I would share it… I love it.  Bill Cosby is always so funny and so right on, all the time.  The man is amazing.

I WISH WE HAD A CANDIDATE WITH THIS PLATFORM!!



I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:


(1) ‘Press 1 for English’ is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country’s attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the ‘Wal-Mart ‘s policy, ‘If we ain’t got it, you don’t need it.

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn’t put nuttin in, you ain’t gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will be able to touch it.

(6) Welfare – Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.

(7) Professional Athletes –Steroids – The FIRST time you check positive you’re banned for life.

(8) Crime – We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9) One export will be allowed; Wheat, The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay of f the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we’ll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it’s a worthy cause.

(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.

(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

Sorry if I stepped on anyone’s toes

GOD BLESS AMERICA .

Bill Cosby

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Things to Share 07/24/08

July 24, 2008 at 1:30 pm · Filed under how to, humor, life and times, ponder, questions, quotes, reason, share, time waster, weird, words

Thing to Ponder

How does one actually zip their lip?

You might be a REDNECK if…

…you have buried a dog and cried like a baby.

Read the rest of this entry »

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