Vandamonium’s Weblog

No matter where you go, there you are.

Things to Share – July 28th, 2008


Point to Ponder

Where are the germs that cause good breath?

Quotes of the Day

People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news.
AJ Liebling

To be great is to be misunderstood.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Benjamin Franklin

Useless Knowledge

A gang of elks
A cast or kettle of hawks
A mob of emus
A brood of hens
A business or fesnyng of ferrets
A drift or parcel of hogs
A charm of finches

Facts

8 yr old Chelsea Lannon received a patent in ’94 for her pocket diaper, a diaper with a pocket to hold a baby wipe and baby powder puff.

Only 3 have ever won medals at both the WinterSummer Olympics: Eddie EaganUSA, Jacob ThamsNorway,Christa Luding-Rothenburger Germany.

The U.S shreds 7000 tons of used currency each year.

Weird

JAPAN: japan’s first mass-produced ‘energy boosting’ eel drink has gone on sale.

Immigration officers had a “Kinder Surprise” when they discovered a woman smuggling drugs using a plastic container from one of the children’s treats.

A model faces up to four years in jail in Peru for being photographed sitting naked on the nation’s flag.

You Might  be a Redneck if…

…before you eat dinner you say, “Jeet yet?” “No, djew?” “Aight.”

Jokes of the Day

Huge Pause

A bear walks into a bar and says, “I want a bourbon and…………… coke”
The bartender asks “what’s with the huge pause?”
The bear says, “I’ve had them all my life.”

An Old Fart

One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems okay but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again, she seems okay but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.

Later, the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. “So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?” they ask.

“It’s pretty nice,” she replies. “Except they won’t let you fart.”

Brunette Meets Genie

A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.

The genie says, “You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much.”

The woman says, “Okay. Give me a nice house.”

The genie replies, “You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two.”

The the lady says, “Give me a gorgeous man.”

The genie replies, “You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two.”

The lady says, “For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it.”

Word of the Day

quondam: former; sometime.

July 28: piss in the wind

Doing something that is a complete waste of effort and time for which you can expect no results and may even backfire on you.

Telling the president that invading other countries is unpopular with many voters is like pissing in the wind.

Today’s Reason to Drink

July 28, 2008

Happy Independence Day…in Peru! Break out the beer, grill, and fireworks again!

1 Comment»

  kittyiseverywhere wrote @

I don’t no any germ against bad breath but try invading your own garden and steal some mangolia flowers. Magnolia bark extract kills most bacteria and prevents caries – pretty cool, eh?

(Thx for putting me in your Blogroll! I’ll do the same 🙂


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