Vandamonium’s Weblog

No matter where you go, there you are.

Archive for November, 2008

11 Things You Should Know About a “Coastal Bender”

These are things the “Cosmic Dust Devils” think you should keep in mind while on a “Coastal Bender”.  I have to agree with them……
1). Regardless of the smoothness or the timeliness of your trip, it is not necessary to tip Ferry Boat crew.
2). Never pass up a chance to shop at the IGA, especially on a Saturday. Hungover people can be fun to watch and interact with.
3). Go to any convenience store and throw down a few dollars for a beach parking permit. It’ll provide you with guiltless hours of fun in the sun and makes for a nifty reminder of your time on the island. Works as a pacifier when stuck in Austin traffic and as a conversation starter in the HEB parking lot.
4). There are no secret handshakes or “invitation only” events. If your not invited to somebody’s beach fire, it’s probably because you weren’t around when everybody headed in that direction.
5). Do some day drinkin’ at The Back Porch because you can.
6). Walk along land’s end with someone close to you and share the moment.
7). Fish a little. If you ain’t got a pole or tackle, hang out with someone who does and give it a go. Might just change your life.
8). Don’t feed the band too many drinks early on. We take pride in our work, but after 11:00 PM we swallow our pride. Keep ’em comin’.
9). There is usually a farewell breakfast at the San Juan Taquiria on the Cut Off Road Sunday morning starting around 11 AM. It’s a good time to recap and do a head count. No toe tags are to be issued during a Coastal Bender. Y’all be safe and look out for one another.
10.) Let the people around you know that you love them. Turn off the TV’s and talk radio for a few days and lavish in the company of good souls. Let it all go for a couple days. You deserve it.
11). Turn it up to 11, y’all! You’re on a Bender.

The Ultimate Blonde Joke

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I
have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”

Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her
and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”

He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice
cup of tea, and then …” he said with a deep sigh, . … . . . .. .

(scroll down)

“Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”

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