Vandamonium’s Weblog

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Why Christmas Trees are Better Than Women/Men


WHY CHRISTMAS TREES ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
– When you dress it up with silver and gold, it doesn’t look like a cheap hooker.
– A Christmas tree will never complain if you compare it to another bush.
– A Christmas tree will stay up late, watch a porno with you, and won’t say, “Hey, look at the size of that one … I didn’t know they made ‘em that big!”

– Christmas trees actually like when you use exotic electrical devices.
– A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you have a plastic one in the closet.
– It always smells fresh as a forest.
– A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you watch football all day or go to a strip club after work.
– A Christmas tree doesn’t get possessive if you want to let your neighbor use your balls.
– You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.
– A Christmas tree doesn’t get mad if you look up underneath it.
– When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
– A Christmas tree doesn’t get jealous around other Christmas trees.
– A Christmas tree doesn’t care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
– A Christmas tree doesn’t get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.

WHY CHRISTMAS TREES ARE BETTER THAN MEN
– A Christmas tree is always erect.
– Even small ones give satisfaction.
– A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.
– A Christmas tree always looks good – even when it’s lit.
– A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.
– A Christmas tree has cute balls.
– You can throw a Christmas tree out when it wears out.
– You don’t have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.
– A Christmas tree doesn’t get mad if you break one of its balls.
– You only have to feed/water it once a week.
– It’s always there to light up your life.
– It gets turned on only when you want it turned on.
– It always smells nice and doesn’t pass gas.
– If it needles you, you can toss it out.
– It doesn’t ask you to have little Christmas trees.

3 Comments»

  davisw wrote @

Does this apply to artifical trees as well? How about artificial men and women?

[…] unknown wrote an interesting post today onWhy Christmas Trees are Better Than Women/Men « Vandamoniumâ??s WeblogHere’s a quick excerptWHY CHRISTMAS TREES ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN – When you dress it up with silver and gold, it doesn’t look like a cheap hooker. – A Christmas tree will never complain if you compare it to another bush. – A Christmas tree will stay up late, … […]

  imacyray wrote @

Robbins @pre-lit christmas trees
A little bit of humor to keep the season alive


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