Vandamonium’s Weblog

No matter where you go, there you are.

Archive for lists

The Don’ts of Writing a Bucket List


The Don’ts of Writing a Bucket List.

WAKE UP AMERICA !!!! FYI


 

What the #@%& is wrong???


WAKE UP AMERICA !!!!

Tuesday’s Daily Bulletin paper, ran two articles on the front page side by side :

1- Calif ‘s 20 Billion Dollar Budget Deficit 

2- The Calif Supreme Court rulingthat ILLEGALS can attend college and get benefits. 

Why don’t they just deport them when they arrive to register?

3- Last year they ran an article on the yearly costs to Calif Taxpayers from Illegals using Hospital Emergency Rooms for their general health care – At just one hospital the cost to tax payers totaled over 25  million a year  
Someone please tell me what the HELL’s wrong with all the people that run this country!!!!!!
We’re “broke” & can’t help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless etc.,???????????
In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti , Chile , and Turkey . And now Pakistan…..home of bin Laden.  Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!
Our retired seniors living on a ‘fixed income’ receive no aid nor do they get any breaks while our government and religious organizations pour Hundreds of Billions of $$$$$$’s and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries!
They call Social Security and Medicare an entitlement even though most of us have been paying for it all our working lives and now when its time for us to collect, the government is running out of money. Why did the government borrow from it in the first place?  We have hundreds ofadoptable children who are shoved aside to make room for the adoption of foreign orphans. 

AMERICA: a country where we have homeless without shelter,  children going to bed hungry, elderly going without ‘needed’ meds, and mentally ill without treatment -etc,etc. 
YET…………………
They have a ‘Benefit’  for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations, ships and planes lining up with food, water, tents clothes, bedd ing, doctors and medical supplies.

Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave ‘US’ the same support they give to other countries. 
Sad isn’t it?
99% of people won’t have the guts to forward this. 
I’m one of the 1% — I Just Did

Do You Have A Pet?


Pool Anyone?

Pool Anyone?

Above is a photo of my “Owner” D.O.G. on the left and his daughter OhNo.  We used to play D.O.G. pool.  Each player would pay $1 for a number (1-15) then the winner of the last round put 50 cents in the table.  D.O.G. would stick his head in the area where the balls come out.  Which ever ball comes out, the person with the corresponding number “WINS”!  The game was a blast to play and fun was had by all.  Then one day D.O.G.’s head got stuck and he kinda panicked.  D.O.G. don’t play that game anymore.  He is still the “Best Owner I’ve Ever Had” and he has taught me every trick I know.
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Psychiatric Christmas Carols


Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do You Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Kings Disoriented Are
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Thank You So Very Much….


Dear Friends

Just before the end of the year I wanted to thank you for the e-mails you have
forwarded over the year. I must send a special big thank you to whoever sent me
the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet
sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to wipe the top
of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I
gave it all to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in hospital for the
1,387,258th time.

But that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft are
sending me for participating in their special email programs. Or from the senior
bank clerk in Nigeriawho wants me to split seven million dollars with me for
pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for
me.
I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to seven
friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so a
serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.

I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug me with a perfume
sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number and
then I’ll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singaporeand
Uzbekistan.

I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider
is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum. I
can’t even pick up the 5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it
probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my
leg.

If you don’t send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next
70minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will sit on your head at 5:00pmthis
afternoon and fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a
hairy hump. I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door
neighbour’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s
beautician.

By the way…..a South American scientist after a lengthy study
has discovered that people with low IQ who don’t have enough sex, always
read their emails while holding the mouse. Don’t bother taking it off now,
it’s too late.

Kind Regards
Big Al

Interesting Observation


1. The sport of choice for the Urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

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4.. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

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5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

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And……..

6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

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THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:

The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

48 Laws of Power


The 48 Laws of Power

by Robert Greene and Joost Elffers

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