Vandamonium’s Weblog

No matter where you go, there you are.

Archive for time waster

If you are here you might as well check it out!!!!!!


Pick the month you were born
Jan – I ate
Feb – I banged
Mar – I ran naked with
April – I smoked with
May – I ran shirtless with
June – I beat
July – I cuddled with
Aug – I needed
Sept – I shot
Oct – I shanked
Nov – I stabbed
Dec – I slept with

Pick the day (number) you were born on
01 – my lover
02 – a dog
03 – homer
04 – A homo
05 – a condom
06 – A toothbrush
07 – a hippie
08 – a glass of milk
09 – a porn star
10 – Paris Hilton
11 – the trojan man
12 – a teletubby
13 – the kool-aid man
14 – some crack heads
15 – an easter egg
16 – a pot head
17 – a bum
18 – a stripper
19 – a horse
20 – a homeless guy
21 – a drink
22 – my best friend
23 – the cookie monster
24 – my boy friend
25 – a bowl of cereal
26 – a golf ball
27 – a bag of weed
28 – a french fry
29 – your mom
30 – your grandma
31 – a mop

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing
White – because hoes keep stealing my tacos
Black – because I’m sexy like that
Pink – Because I’m good in bed
Red – because I have AMAZING boobs
Brown- because I had to
Polka Dots – because I hate my life
Purple – because I’m gay
Gray – because I love marijuana
Other -because I have double D’ s
Green – because I love to snort cocaine.
Orange – because I smoked crack
Turquoise – because I have a noodle in my nose
Blue – because I’m a pimp
Shirtless – because I’ve got abs
Yellow – because I didn’t like the way he/she looked at me
Gold- because the people in my head were banging
Tan- because I’m a soldier boy/girl

Post Your results  in the comments.

Every Family Has One


The Cyclops Uncle in Our Family

Every Family Has one of those Uncles and I’m it in my

Family……………………….

Test To See If Your Marijuana Is Flushed Properly – StumbleUpon


Test To See If Your Marijuana Is Flushed Properly – StumbleUpon.

WAKE UP AMERICA !!!! FYI


 

What the #@%& is wrong???


WAKE UP AMERICA !!!!

Tuesday’s Daily Bulletin paper, ran two articles on the front page side by side :

1- Calif ‘s 20 Billion Dollar Budget Deficit 

2- The Calif Supreme Court rulingthat ILLEGALS can attend college and get benefits. 

Why don’t they just deport them when they arrive to register?

3- Last year they ran an article on the yearly costs to Calif Taxpayers from Illegals using Hospital Emergency Rooms for their general health care – At just one hospital the cost to tax payers totaled over 25  million a year  
Someone please tell me what the HELL’s wrong with all the people that run this country!!!!!!
We’re “broke” & can’t help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless etc.,???????????
In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti , Chile , and Turkey . And now Pakistan…..home of bin Laden.  Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!
Our retired seniors living on a ‘fixed income’ receive no aid nor do they get any breaks while our government and religious organizations pour Hundreds of Billions of $$$$$$’s and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries!
They call Social Security and Medicare an entitlement even though most of us have been paying for it all our working lives and now when its time for us to collect, the government is running out of money. Why did the government borrow from it in the first place?  We have hundreds ofadoptable children who are shoved aside to make room for the adoption of foreign orphans. 

AMERICA: a country where we have homeless without shelter,  children going to bed hungry, elderly going without ‘needed’ meds, and mentally ill without treatment -etc,etc. 
YET…………………
They have a ‘Benefit’  for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations, ships and planes lining up with food, water, tents clothes, bedd ing, doctors and medical supplies.

Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave ‘US’ the same support they give to other countries. 
Sad isn’t it?
99% of people won’t have the guts to forward this. 
I’m one of the 1% — I Just Did

Cowboy Rules


Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Nebraska, Idaho, Oregon and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain’t crooked.
3. Let’s get this straight: it’s called a ‘gravel road.’ I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That’s why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It’s called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin’ in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It’s available at the corner bait shop.
9. The ‘Opener’ refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That’s applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there’s no ‘vegetarian special’ on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah … We don’t care what you folks in   Cincinnati  call that stuff you eat… IT AIN’T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring ‘Coke’ into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring ‘Mary Jane’ into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don’t hit the water hazards – it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain’t music, anyway. We don’t want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won’t get it, but we’re friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!
And there is more………….
The Cowboy Solution to save Gasoline.
OBAMA wants us to cut the amount of gasoline we use…..
The best way to stop using so much gasoline is to deport 15 million illegal immigrants!
That would be 15 million less people using our gas.
The price of gas would come down…..
Bring our troops home from   Afghanistan  to guard the borders….
When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the Border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to   Afghanistan ….
Tell him if he wants to come to   AMERICA  then he must serve a tour in OUR military….
Give him a soldier’s pay while he’s there and tax him on it……
After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country…..
He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal resident…..
This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in   Afghanistan  and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves.. …….
If they refuse to serve, ship them to   Afghanistan anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo.
Problem solved…..
If you think this is a good solution to both the problems, forward it to your friends………..

It’s Been Awhile!


It sure has been a while since I have posted anything here.  Some may know and this may be news to others.  I am a retired GySgt from the USMC and my medical care comes from the VA system.  Well long story short because of Hep C and a shot liver I am in a rehab (90 days) program in the VA hospital up in Temple, Texas. For  this 90 day program I have now been here almost 140 days granted I am getting medical care at the main hospital while I am here and I don’t have to travel all the way to San Antonio for doctor appointments but I can’t help but make the following statements and inform you the general public what is going on here.

I recently either read somewhere or heard somewhere in the paper or on the news all this money the Obama organization had given the VA system.  Well, I’m here to tell you what I SEE them doing with that money.  Remember I have already said that the VA system has been giving me good health care..  on that note.  They have just installed an extensive Wireless system throughout the whole Domicilliary (DOM as it’s called) however, there is no indication and I was even told by one of the installers that it is not for our use but will be for staff only.  I can only surmise that they are probably going to take the clipboards away from the nurses that do bed checks at midnight and give them PDAs or something like that.  If it’s there, why can’t WE use it.  I have my Clearwire connection that works here just as well as home but there are other residents that have no connection at all, PLUS the hallways around here in the DOM are full of brand new furniture, Desks, Cabinets, Credenzas, etc.. They are going into all of the office spaces where in some cases they are replacing furniture that was just installed last year.  So, in a nutshell, that is what I see them doing with all the millions of dollars that the VA health care system received under the OBAMA administration.  What’s an old GySgt to do but kick back and sigh!

SHARING IN A MARRIAGE


The “Sharing” in a MARRIAGE….

The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one
half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles
and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down
between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people
around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, ‘That poor old couple – all they can afford is
one meal for the two of them.’

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely
offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were
just fine – they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn’t eaten a bite.
She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping
the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal
for them. This time the old woman said ‘No, thank you, we are used to
sharing everything.’

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the
napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to
eat a single bite of food and asked ‘What is it you are waiting for?’

She answered……

(Continue BELOW…..  This is great)

‘THE TEETH…..’

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