Vandamonium’s Weblog

No matter where you go, there you are.

Archive for weird

If you are here you might as well check it out!!!!!!


Pick the month you were born
Jan – I ate
Feb – I banged
Mar – I ran naked with
April – I smoked with
May – I ran shirtless with
June – I beat
July – I cuddled with
Aug – I needed
Sept – I shot
Oct – I shanked
Nov – I stabbed
Dec – I slept with

Pick the day (number) you were born on
01 – my lover
02 – a dog
03 – homer
04 – A homo
05 – a condom
06 – A toothbrush
07 – a hippie
08 – a glass of milk
09 – a porn star
10 – Paris Hilton
11 – the trojan man
12 – a teletubby
13 – the kool-aid man
14 – some crack heads
15 – an easter egg
16 – a pot head
17 – a bum
18 – a stripper
19 – a horse
20 – a homeless guy
21 – a drink
22 – my best friend
23 – the cookie monster
24 – my boy friend
25 – a bowl of cereal
26 – a golf ball
27 – a bag of weed
28 – a french fry
29 – your mom
30 – your grandma
31 – a mop

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing
White – because hoes keep stealing my tacos
Black – because I’m sexy like that
Pink – Because I’m good in bed
Red – because I have AMAZING boobs
Brown- because I had to
Polka Dots – because I hate my life
Purple – because I’m gay
Gray – because I love marijuana
Other -because I have double D’ s
Green – because I love to snort cocaine.
Orange – because I smoked crack
Turquoise – because I have a noodle in my nose
Blue – because I’m a pimp
Shirtless – because I’ve got abs
Yellow – because I didn’t like the way he/she looked at me
Gold- because the people in my head were banging
Tan- because I’m a soldier boy/girl

Post Your results  in the comments.

Thank You So Very Much….


Dear Friends

Just before the end of the year I wanted to thank you for the e-mails you have
forwarded over the year. I must send a special big thank you to whoever sent me
the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet
sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to wipe the top
of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I
gave it all to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in hospital for the
1,387,258th time.

But that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft are
sending me for participating in their special email programs. Or from the senior
bank clerk in Nigeriawho wants me to split seven million dollars with me for
pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for
me.
I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to seven
friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so a
serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.

I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug me with a perfume
sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number and
then I’ll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singaporeand
Uzbekistan.

I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider
is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum. I
can’t even pick up the 5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it
probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my
leg.

If you don’t send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next
70minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will sit on your head at 5:00pmthis
afternoon and fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a
hairy hump. I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door
neighbour’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s
beautician.

By the way…..a South American scientist after a lengthy study
has discovered that people with low IQ who don’t have enough sex, always
read their emails while holding the mouse. Don’t bother taking it off now,
it’s too late.

Kind Regards
Big Al

Things to Share


It’s been awhile since I’ve shared.  So here’s some sharing tossed at ya….

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Things to Share – 08/15/08


Hooters Girl of the Moment       Picture of the Day

hoot122006_027 ride home 090

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Top 15 of Unnecessary Knowledge


Unnecessary Knowledge

1 – An adult giraffe’s kick is so powerful that it can decapitate a lion.   

2 – The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

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Things to Share 07/24/08


Thing to Ponder

How does one actually zip their lip?

You might be a REDNECK if…

…you have buried a dog and cried like a baby.

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First 10 – Weird English Words


These are some really weird words. Click the read more link below to view them.

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