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No matter where you go, there you are.

Archive for joke

You Might Be a Scrooge If:


– Your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon.

– You turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away.

– You buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas.

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Talking Dog For Sale


A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in

front of a broken down shanty-style house: “Talking Dog For Sale.”

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the back

yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Labrador

retriever sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks. “Yep,” the Lab replies.

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The Ultimate Blonde Joke


A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I
have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”

Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the
table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her
and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”

He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice
cup of tea, and then …” he said with a deep sigh, . … . . . .. .

(scroll down)

“Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”

Bridge to Hawaii


A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said “OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month, and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!

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Daddy’s Gonna Get Your Nose


This is worth a good chuckle!!!! You’ll get a kick out of it…

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New Bike?


For his birthday Little Matt asked for a 10-speed bicycle.

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Terrible Pick up Lines


PICK UP LINES USED IN: BRAKPAN , BENONI, SPRING S , KEMPTON PARK AND
BOKSBURG maybe also in Krugersdorp and Danville ….

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