Archive for joke
– Your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon.
– You turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away.
– You buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas.
A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-style house: “Talking Dog For Sale.”
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the back
yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Labrador
retriever sitting there.
“You talk?” he asks. “Yep,” the Lab replies.
have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”
Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”
The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her
and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”
He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice
cup of tea, and then …” he said with a deep sigh, . … . . . .. .
“Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said “OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month, and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!
This is worth a good chuckle!!!! You’ll get a kick out of it…