Vandamonium’s Weblog

No matter where you go, there you are.

Archive for funny

Only in America


1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while         healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
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You Might Be a Scrooge If:


– Your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon.

– You turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away.

– You buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas.

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Talking Dog For Sale


A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in

front of a broken down shanty-style house: “Talking Dog For Sale.”

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the back

yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Labrador

retriever sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks. “Yep,” the Lab replies.

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Interesting Observation


1. The sport of choice for the Urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

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4.. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

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5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

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And……..

6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

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THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:

The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

Interesting Pictures


I’ve been sick the last 2 or 3 days and have been under the covers most of that time.  I did however pick up a few interesting pictures while I was stumbling along… (click image for a larger view)

Bridge to Hawaii


A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said “OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month, and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!

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Terrible Pick up Lines


PICK UP LINES USED IN: BRAKPAN , BENONI, SPRING S , KEMPTON PARK AND
BOKSBURG maybe also in Krugersdorp and Danville ….

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